


Something to Live For part 14

by Phsbarbie



Series: Something to Live For [14]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Literature, Romance, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 19:58:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1700651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phsbarbie/pseuds/Phsbarbie





	Something to Live For part 14

    The Valkyrie has 16 shots per magazine, with a modded maximum capacity of 180 shots. Pairing that with my Valiant sniper rifle weighs me down though, so I should mod them both for weight, the assault rifle for damage and the sniper with an improved scope. Add that to the cool down boost on my armor and my biotic recharge time should experience an 87% boost. It isn't until Kaidan clears his throat that I realize I've been going over weapon stats instead of paying attention to the conversation at dinner. I look up to find both him and his mother, Annie, looking at me expectantly.  
  
    "I'm sorry," I say, slightly embarrassed. "My mind was wandering. What was the question?" No doubt something wedding related. Nearly everything that's come out of Annie's mouth in the last day and a half has been. Which probably explains why I was running over the best gear to take into the arena next month; it's something I'm far more comfortable with. I have to hand it to her though, she's doing a fantastic job with the planning. She smiles at me.  
  
    "I asked if you've given any more thought as to who will walk you down the aisle." A brief stab of pain pierces my heart at the thought of who I'd really like to give me away, Admiral Anderson. But he's gone, and he definitely wouldn't want me to be sad while planning my wedding on his account. So I manage a genuine smile as I recall who's agreed to do it instead.  
  
    "I have, actually.  Wrex, an old Krogan buddy of mine has agreed to do it." My smile must be contagious since a grin spreads across Kaidan's face.  
  
    "Wrex is going to give you away?" He laughs when I nod. "I can't wait to see what he looks like in a tux." Annie fails to keep the surprise from her eyes as she segues into another topic.  
  
    "And Kaidan? Have you finalized your list of groomsmen?" Kaidan groans and it's my turn to laugh. He sits back from the table and runs his hands across his face.  
  
    "Um... Let's see... Well, I have a best man, Joker." His mother rolls her eyes.  
  
    "Yes, I know that dear, but you'll need more than that. Angel here has four bridesmaids on top of her maid of honor. You need the same amount to match." Kaidan glares at me while I sip my wine.  
  
    "It's not my fault I'm popular," I tell him with a shrug. It seems rolling eyes runs in the family as Kaidan rolls his at me.  
  
    "Four, you said? Well, there's James, Cortez, Garrus and Javik." I try to hide my surprise at Garrus being on that list. We haven't really talked about him much since that night a couple of months ago. We woke up the next morning to find the bed made and a note thanking us for letting him stay there. We haven't heard from him since. Although I did hear through Traynor that he had taken my advice and is helping to rebuild Palaven until the Normandy is ready to go. I hope it brings him a measure of peace. It seems I didn't hide my surprise about Garrus well enough, though, since Kaidan has noticed and raises an eyebrow in question.  
  
    "Javik is a groomsman?" I ask, seizing on the second surprise in that sentence. "Does he know that?" Kaidan looks uncomfortable.  
  
    "I haven't exactly asked him yet..." I snort.  
  
    "Come on Kaidan, you know he's not going to agree to it." Annie looks up from the datapad she was writing on with a frown.  
  
    "That leaves us one short."  
  
    "I know!" I say excitedly. "Grunt!"  
  
    "Grunt?" Kaidan asks in disbelief. "The tank grown Krogan from your last crew?"  
  
    "That's the one," I agree. Kaidan sighs.  
      
    "Well, in for a penny in for a pound, I guess. Grunt it is." Annie is working very hard to keep her expression neutral.  
  
    "So that makes  _two_  Krogan in the wedding party?"  
  
    "Don't worry Mom, Krogan's aren't as bad as you've heard," consoles Kaidan.  
  
    "Yeah, just make sure you have plenty of Ryncol on hand," I add.  
  
    "Shepard, you're not helping," he mutters at me. He's right of course, I'm not. I can't help it. The wedding is still three months away, while my fitness test is less than six weeks away. I feel like until I get that out of the way I won't be able to enjoy the fact that I'm getting married. I take a deep breath and am about to apologize, but Annie cuts me off.  
  
    "No, no, Kaidan. This is her wedding, your wedding. However you want it is how it will be," she says with a smile at me. Great, now I feel guilty.  
  
    "Well, Annie, while we're here is there anything else wedding-wise that you want to talk about?" Kaidan looks at me like I've grown a second head, but Annie smiles at me approvingly.  
  
    "Now that you mention it, there was just one more thing I wanted to talk to you about. Samantha sent over the approved guest list, but don't you think it's a little small? I mean, the two of you have traveled the known galaxy, countless species owe you their lives. Don't you want to invite more people? More specifically, more dignitaries?"  
  
    "No," Kaidan and I say in unison. I flash him a smile which he returns before turning to his mother. She looks confused.  
  
    "Why not?"  
  
    "How can I explain this?" says Kaidan, thinking for a moment. "Every interview I've done since joining the Normandy three years ago has included questions about Shepard. What's she really like? Do I have problems taking orders from a woman? Has Akuze left her with emotional scars that just won't heal? Everybody always wants a piece of her. And when it got out that we were a couple, it got even worse. Does she prefer chocolate or roses? Is it hard watching her charge into every battle knowing she might not make it back out? How would I describe her style of kissing?"  
  
    "Someone had the nerve to ask you that?" I ask, incredulously. He gives a smile with no warmth and a touch of bitterness to it.  
  
    "That one came courtesy of your old friend Emily Wong, and it was one of the tamer ones. My point is," he continues, turning back to his mother, "on most days the public thinks she belongs to them, that everything in our lives should be available for their consumption, but on that day she'll belong to me and only me. I plan to guard that as selfishly as I can." I lean over and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, smiling. Perhaps I can enjoy some of this wedding stuff after all.

 

  
  
    I press my head against hers as the shuttle lands, our standard pre-battle check. A new element has been added to this since our wedding though, so I pull her to me and kiss her soundly before pulling away to put on my helmet. James laughs beside us.  
  
    "Damn, the two of you need to take a honeymoon." Shepard rolls her eyes.  
  
    "All right, Lieutenant, weapons check." I smile and watch her as she double checks her assault rifle, as if she hasn't half a dozen times already today. The test at the simulator went off without a hitch, and our wedding was beautiful. This is our first time back out in the field since the fall of the Reapers, and Shepard can barely contain her excitement.  
  
    We've been sent into the Terminus Systems again, this time near the Batarian homeworld. The Reapers hit Khar'shan first, harvesting most of the planet, but not all. The Batarian refugees have proven themselves reliable allies while rebuilding the Citadel, and with the Hegemony gone a new leadership has risen from among them. A leadership that is more than willing to bring the Batarians back into Council Space.  
  
    Now that the Reapers are gone they've decided to rebuild their homeworld, and the council is hesitantly offering aid as a show of good faith. That's where we come in. While most of the galaxy is getting along swimmingly, there are always the assholes. A large group of Terminus pirates has set up base between the relay and Khar'shan, periodically raiding the supply and aid ships en route to the Batarians. We've been sent to stop them. Shepard's off the shuttle first, as usual, with her rifle drawn, already scanning the LZ.  
  
    "I love you," I call after her, and she turns to smile at me. I can never get enough of that smile.  
  
    "If I also say I love you, will you turn those bedroom eyes on me, Lola?" She rolls her eyes and it's back to business. Just in time, too. It seems the pirates have been tipped off about our arrival. Instead of being at their compound a few clicks away, they materialize out of the rocks around us, ready to spring an ambush.  
  
    "Find cover!" she yells, diving to the right, and rolling forward to come up on one knee, one of her typical moves. Except this time there's something wrong. I can tell almost immediately, I can almost sense it. When she goes to push up off the ground with a pivot, she falls instead. Her legs, the ones that were nearly paralyzed seven months ago, give out on her. She can't get up and I can't get to her in time. An instant is all they need.  
  
    "Shepard!" I scream, running for her, only to see a round enter her chest and her eyes roll back. I reach her quickly and pull her out of the line of fire, but I can't find a pulse.  
  
    "Shepard, Angel, look at me," I plead, desperately trying to get her to open her eyes. But it's too late. She's gone. I hold my wife in my arms, covered in her blood, and sob in the middle of a battlefield.  
  
    "Shepard!" I cry out, but suddenly I'm no longer in a battlefield. I'm sitting straight up in bed, breathing heavily with my fiancé laying beside me. She quickly sits up next to me, woken by my cries, and lays a hand on my arm.  
  
    "Kaidan? What's wrong?" she asks, sleep still lacing her voice. I turn to face her, trying to get it through my head that it wasn't real, it was just a dream and she's here, safe and sound, beside me. I crush her to me, afraid to ever let her go, and lay back on the bed, pulling her with me. She snuggles into my side, quickly finding the groove that seems to have been made just for her. She strokes my chest while I try to get my breathing and heart rate under control.  
  
    "Bad dream?" she asks, the concern evident in her voice. I nod, not trusting my own voice at the moment. She hesitates a moment and I know she's thinking of those nightmares she used to have, the ones with the child she was unable to save. "Whatever it was, try to remember it's not real. It doesn't matter. We're real, we matter."  
  
    "I can't lose you, Shepard," I manage, my voice hoarse. "My pulse might as well be linked to your because if you go I won't survive it." She studies me for a moment before pulling my lips to hers and kissing me tenderly.  
  
    "You won't have to. I'm not going anywhere." She resumes her place with her head on my shoulder before speaking again. "I think I have an idea on how we can get Javik to be a groomsman." I look down at her in confusion.  
  
    "I thought we decided on Grunt at dinner tonight."  
  
    "I know, but you barely know him and it's supposed to be your choice, not mine. Besides, I just had a dream that he got bored standing up next to Garrus during the ceremony so he set the altar on fire." I laugh and press a kiss to her temple.  
  
    "All right then, what's your plan?" She grins.  
  
    "Simple, we tell him that he gets to walk down the aisle with Liara."  
  
    "So I'm not the only one that picked up on that." She shakes her head.  
  
    "Nope, not that he'd ever admit it. You'll have to somehow, slyly, lead with that point. Oh, I know!" she says, sitting up in bed once again. "Pull up your omnitool, let's send him a message."  
  
    "Right now?" I ask, laughing. "It's two in the morning." She shrugs.  
  
    "So? He'll check it tomorrow. It should say-"  
  
    "Hold on," I interrupt, "shouldn't  _I_  write it? So it, you know, sounds like me?" She rolls her eyes, but doesn't protest. I type up a quick message and read it out loud for her approval.  
  
    "Javik- I know you're aware of my upcoming marriage to Commander Shepard and I want to ask you to be a part of it as one of my groomsmen. Before you say no, it really doesn't require much of you. Just show up to the wedding and walk down the aisle with Liara. I can provide you with links on what to expect. It would mean a lot to Shepard and me. Thanks, -Kaidan." Shepard nods her approval and yawns.  
  
    "Good. Let's get back to sleep." She lays back down and turns towards the wall, asleep almost immediately- an old soldier's trick. I wrap my body around hers and try to do the same, but sleep eludes me. The image running through my mind is of her lying dead on the battlefield and I'm trying desperately to replace it with the reality of her here, safe and sound in my arms. At some point near dawn I must succeed because I slowly drift to sleep.


End file.
